Without a shadow of doubt, the hardest part of the job is simply hearing properly what the customer has said; hearing over the phone can be hard at the best of times, let alone distinguishing obscure place names and business names unfamiliar to one (i.e. every day words are familiar, and hence easy to pick up, but not so with rare place names). Plus, even if a good idea as to what’s been said has been gained, spelling is another matter entirely; words are not always spelt as they’re pronounced, and hence unfamiliar names often require confirmation of their spelling. This is why it takes time and clarification before searching can even commence (i.e. ascertaining as to what the customer has said, and then clarifying the spelling, if necessary).

With this in mind, customers would perhaps be a bit more understanding and patient, instead of deeming us to be deaf and/or stupid (a ridiculous conclusion to come to; as if the majority of a large sample of hundreds of people are going to be deaf and/or stupid). Customers should also realise that, just because a business name and/or location is familar and hence easy-to-spell to them, doesn’t mean that it really should be easy to anyone; those requiring a listing under, say, a 20-letter-long Welsh placename, should perhaps have the sense to offer a spelling.

While on the subject of spelling, it’d also make sense for customers, when asked, to spell what is asked of them at a pace slow enough for us to hear and remember, rather than moodily blurting it out; don’t people have the sense to realise that talking slowly is most probably best, if we’re having difficulties understanding them? It should be noted that accents differ greatly, on this small island we call ‘Britain’, and hence that certain people - mentioning those from no areas in particular *coughs*Scotland*coughs* - should be extra patient, given the difference between the dialect accustomed to by the 118 118 worker, and themselves. Overall, I’d say that accents and obscure place/business names are the bain of every 118 118 worker’s life; and the Scottish and the Welsh are the worst, respectively, with regards to these.

The illogic of many customers reminds one of just how many morons there are in this country. For example:

Customer: “Can you find *the name of an hard-to-spell business*”

I: “Where is that based?”

Customer: “I don’t know!!!! Just *the name of a hard-to-spell business!!!!!!!*

I: “Do you know how that’s spelt?”

Customer: “NO!!!! It doesn’t matter!!!! Just find it!!!”

I (trying various spellings, for a ‘UK’ search): “Please understand, I’m having to try various spellings, and can only search on what you’ve given me”

Customer: “Then get the manager!!!!!!!!!!”

What a f***ing retard.

Or:

Customer: “I want Adams Cars; a car rental business in Slough”

I: “Adams, in Slough”

*searches*

I: “And that was a car RENTAL place”

Customer: YES!!!! CAR RENTAL!!! I’M TELLING YOU THIS FOR THE EIGHTY-BILLIONTH TIME”

I: No; that was the SECOND time.

“If only his mother had had a headache, the night he had been conceived” is all I can say.

I really do wish customers would be more rational, by and large: if ONE listing is found, then in my eyes, this is hardly proof conclusive that the whole service is rubbish; if the 118 118 worker is unable to spell ‘Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch (pronounced VERY differently)’ (which I can, as it happens), then this does not make them a moron deserving not of being in the job; if they haven’t heard of a certain business, it does not make them stupid; if they can’t understand your Glaswegian accent, it does not make them uncultured; if they have to ask the customer to repear his or herself, this does not make them in need of an ear syringing. And, above all, if it takes longer than 30 seconds to find a listing, it’s not the end of the world.

So, yeah: if you’re a customer that criticises the job we do, please take note and learn the meanings of the following words: ‘calm’, ‘patient’ and ‘rational’. If you’re a fellow worker, than I hope you’ve seen, in me, a kindred spirit. I sit near the front of the Plymouth call centre, am slimmish, 6′ tall with a shaved head, just in case any fellow workers are trying to think who I might be.

Merry Christmas, and remember that patience is a virtue and that 118 118 really is simply the vest……..

Mark Warren x x x

everyones got the shirts and goes round shouting “got your numbahh!

Only problem is now everyone just yells out “Oi! 118″, thinking it a great laugh. He’s getting mighty pissed off about it though.

Email me: SEllison55@hotmail.com. Thanks

Thanks

Merry Christmas To All

Rob

Above all else, we’re the #1 rated directory enquiries service according to OFCOM, the people the government pay to find out these things. So moan at them.

Anyway Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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